Weaning: the challenges and joy

Two massive masses of excruciating, throbbing pain on my chest

Pain that pounds along to the blood coursing through my veins

Eyes heavy and hooded, holding back expressions of pain

I shy away for fear of being kicked or elbowed in the most tender of places

Uuuffffhh!

A kick I didn’t see coming knocks me off my feet, I fail to brace myself

For the waves of pain shooting through my body

I hold our baby girl away from me

Her eyes well up in confusion

She longs to be held

She too is undergoing a transition, a right of passage

From being a milk dependent babe

To a grown up independent toddler

Her body, weary from lack of sleep of the night before,

Her lips peel back to let out cries of hurt, needing her mama

The sweet delicious comfort she has known since birth is snatched away,

Been craddled in the warmth of mummy’s arms

Suckling, a scientifically inexplicable bond

Learning to sleep without aid of suckling milk is a foreign feat

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Swollen breasts harden, small breast ducts bulging beneath skin

As mum’s brain registers the cues of baby’s cries,

Sends signals to the breast: produce more milk!

Doesn’t matter that milk storages are overfull

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With each passing day, the pain reduces, albeit minimally

Baby girl struggles reduce, sleep embraces her with open arms

During the day, mother and daughter slowly learn a new dance

Slowly we advance to the next level of mother-daughter bonding:

Before weaning, she could never sit still for more than two heartbeats

Eager to perfect her walking, increase her speed of running,

Suddenly she is all about cuddles,

Crawling into my lap is now a normal need for mama’s comforting hugs

Independent she grows, confident in her mama’s immoveable love.

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My mummy heart expands further than I thought possible

Love fills me, reassurance that the special bond between me and baby girl isn’t lost.

Initial fears now prove a waste of emotional strength

Our mama-daughter bond has evolved, matured, grown and strengthened.