I want my husband to be like Ben Carson
I want my husband to be like Joel Osteen
I want my husband to be like Myles Munroe
I want my husband to be like Robert Kiyosaki
I want my husband to be like Jentezen Franklin
I want my husband to be like Billy Graham
I want my husband to be like Barrack Obama
I want my husband to be like Roger Federer
We want our husbands to be more spiritual, more pastoral, better entrepreneurs, more emotionally intelligent, more successful, a better investor, a more hardworking author/ athlete/businessman, etc. If only our husbands spent more time praying, reading the word of God, exercising, eating healthy, furthering their degree or registering in that professional course/certification…
Maybe life would be so much better if we married men who have already reached their full potential. We can sit here and envy the wives of men we admire as world leaders, Forbes list successes, Hollywood celebrities, fabulously rich and famous athletes. We compare our husbands to them, scrutinize their every weakness under our loving wifey lens. We just want them to reach their full potential, it isn’t called scrutiny or discontent! It is so easy to focus on other’s weaknesses and ignore our own, after all no one has created a mirror for us to view our blemishes that are invisible to the eye.
It is such a human trait to always find discontent in anything and everything. As a stay-at-home mum of an adorable, vivacious 10 month old, it is so easy to admire a female friend or classmate who is currently working as a surgeon, or successful entrepreneur. Whereas last month, I had three female classmates gush at how lucky I am to be married and have a beautiful child. In their eyes, I am living a fulfilled life.
Ah but when I look into that dimpled smile, with her two tiny rabbit teeth peaking through, or hear that cute giggle, I just may be the most blessed person on this planet!
Discontentment can lead to so so many other issues and can Rob you of happiness and fulfilment. And discontentment in marriage often accompanies a constant nagging voice at the back of your head that questions whether or not you have picked the best partner in life.
Let us consider the wives of those men whom we are comparing our husbands to. Most didn’t marry the men as we know them today, we have no idea what the women went through. These women most often than not married ordinary men with great vision, potential. These great women endured hardships, put up with husband’s initial frustrations, failures and temper tantrums. They learnt how to make the best of tiny paychecks and juggle life’s responsibilities and challenges. Some became prayer warriors, fasting and patiently waited on God. Of course they had their failings but in the end they dusted themselves off and also developed themselves.
Let us take advantage of the new year to have a fresh start. Let us purpose to develop ourselves, work on our weakness, with the focus more on becoming the best spouse, woman, entrepreneur, employee, friend and sister you can be. Instead of wallowing in discontent, whether it be in our marriage, career, friend choices, personality/behavior, etc, let us purpose to DO something about it. Let us choose to believe and hope in the best. For most of us, myself included, it is easier to see the best in others while being our own worst enemy. But that could turn into a whole blog post, or series of posts.
Today, let’s stop comparing our spouse, marriage or homes to that of our sister, BFF, neighbor, colleague, classmate, church member or even celebrity.
Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.
Ephesians 5:22-24 MSG
First and foremost as a wife, our job is to understand and support our husbands. Also we need to ask God to help us love our husbands the way God loves them. Ask God to reveal who our husbands are and to understand their strengths and the ways they need us to support and respect them. We can come to God with our requests in prayer, areas of weaknesses, temperament or lack of discipline. We cannot change our husbands, only God can.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6 NIV
Is there anything you want changed in your marriage or in your spouse? Have you tried looking at yourself from your spouse’s perspective? What is the ONE thing you can start/stop doing today to become a better wife to your husband?
May God help us all, Amen.