I want my husband to be more like…

I want my husband to be like Ben Carson
I want my husband to be like Joel Osteen
I want my husband to be like Myles Munroe
I want my husband to be like Robert Kiyosaki
I want my husband to be like Jentezen Franklin
I want my husband to be like Billy Graham
I want my husband to be like Barrack Obama
I want my husband to be like Roger Federer

We want our husbands to be more spiritual, more pastoral, better entrepreneurs, more emotionally intelligent, more successful, a better investor, a more hardworking author/ athlete/businessman, etc. If only our husbands spent more time praying, reading the word of God, exercising, eating healthy, furthering their degree or registering in that professional course/certification…

Maybe life would be so much better if we married men who have already reached their full potential. We can sit here and envy the wives of men we admire as world leaders, Forbes list successes, Hollywood celebrities, fabulously rich and famous athletes. We compare our husbands to them, scrutinize their every weakness under our loving wifey lens. We just want them to reach their full potential, it isn’t called scrutiny or discontent! It is so easy to focus on other’s weaknesses and ignore our own, after all no one has created a mirror for us to view our blemishes that are invisible to the eye.

It is such a human trait to always find discontent in anything and everything. As a stay-at-home mum of an adorable, vivacious 10 month old, it is so easy to admire a female friend or classmate who is currently working as a surgeon, or successful entrepreneur. Whereas last month, I had three female classmates gush at how lucky I am to be married and have a beautiful child. In their eyes, I am living a fulfilled life.

Ah but when I look into that dimpled smile, with her two tiny rabbit teeth peaking through, or hear that cute giggle, I just may be the most blessed person on this planet!

Discontentment can lead to so so many other issues and can Rob you of happiness and fulfilment. And discontentment in marriage often accompanies a constant nagging voice at the back of your head that questions whether or not you have picked the best partner in life.

Let us consider the wives of those men whom we are comparing our husbands to. Most didn’t marry the men as we know them today, we have no idea what the women went through. These women most often than not married ordinary men with great vision, potential. These great women endured hardships, put up with husband’s initial frustrations, failures and temper tantrums. They learnt how to make the best of tiny paychecks and juggle life’s responsibilities and challenges. Some became prayer warriors, fasting and patiently waited on God. Of course they had their failings but in the end they dusted themselves off and also developed themselves.

Let us take advantage of the new year to have a fresh start. Let us purpose to develop ourselves, work on our weakness, with the focus more on becoming the best spouse, woman, entrepreneur, employee, friend and sister you can be. Instead of wallowing in discontent, whether it be in our marriage, career, friend choices, personality/behavior, etc, let us purpose to DO something about it. Let us choose to believe and hope in the best. For most of us, myself included, it is easier to see the best in others while being our own worst enemy. But that could turn into a whole blog post, or series of posts.

Today, let’s stop comparing our spouse, marriage or homes to that of our sister, BFF, neighbor, colleague, classmate, church member or even celebrity.

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.
Ephesians 5:22‭-‬24 MSG

First and foremost as a wife, our job is to understand and support our husbands. Also we need to ask God to help us love our husbands the way God loves them. Ask God to reveal who our husbands are and to understand their strengths and the ways they need us to support and respect them. We can come to God with our requests in prayer, areas of weaknesses, temperament or lack of discipline. We cannot change our husbands, only God can.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6 NIV

Is there anything you want changed in your marriage or in your spouse? Have you tried looking at yourself from your spouse’s perspective? What is the ONE thing you can start/stop doing today to become a better wife to your husband?

May God help us all, Amen.

Woohoo 2019, Hello WordPress!

My adorable chubby cheeked 9 month old baby girl lies asleep in my arms, gently snoring after a nursing session. After 9 months of this motherhood thing, I expertly multitask, taking advantage to type my first blog post of 2019:

I had initially thought life would return back to “on track” 6 months postpartum… Baby girl will turn 9 months exactly in 4 days and I realize I will need to take determined steps and probably make further sacrifices on sleep to make that happen.

It’s so tempting to remain in this comfy, heartmelting bubble of home building as a stay at home mum, putting everything on hold to be there every step of the way for their first year. Nursing one’s first child, showering their feathery cheeks with endless butterfly kisses, oohing and aahing over everything they do, watching them first roll their way into exploring the world, to getting excited about introducing solid foods. Fellow mums will understand my puree vs. Baby led weaning dilemmas, diaper emergencies etc

So thrilled with each new milestone. From the moment baby girl mastered sitting, she started crawling forwards (she used to push herself back for the longest time was so hilarious!). A week later, she was already pulling herself up to stand. And now expertly crawls, climbs, jumps, cruises holding onto anything she can grab onto.

We moved into our home when she was 3 months and with one project after another plus keeping an eye out on an energetic mobile 9 month old…its hard to keep track on how time flies!

She is still knocked out in the cradle of my right elbow, so I have managed to type up my first blog post since I was heavily pregnant. I have been so shy to share this blog with classmates, friends, associates who have known me in person because only some friends know the health challenges I went through as I didn’t want to be defined by them. What pushed me to restart my blog ASAP in 2019 is because of Andrea, my first blogger friend who encouraged me when I was so hesitant on WordPress.

So much has happened healthwise, I took a real leap of faith ever since I became pregnant with our precious miracle and I need a whole book of blogposts to document this faith journey. In summary, have been off my chemo meds since becoming pregnant and stayed off to breastfeed and give our baby the healthiest start possible in life. With all the stress of full time motherhood + not having a full night of uninterrupted sleep in 9 months, I have never broken down And never been this healthy and strong since my diagnosis. God has been so so faithful. In so so many other areas of my life. I know I have been social media quiet for the most part in 2018 but it has been so so busy adjusting to been a new wife, a mama, moving across town, managing a bigger home., owning two dogs for first time and still managing to go on The sewing machine to create matching outfits for baby girl and I..

I know I feel like Oliver Twist with nagging sense of dissatisfaction with so many dreams bubbling inside of e yet to be realized but if 2018 could produce miracle of life and health… My career, hopes, dreams and unutilized talents should be no small feat to become a reality in 2019 right?

Happy new year to you dearest reader, have an amazingly fabulous and blessed 2019!

P.S I DID IT!! She just woke up now hitting publish!!