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Welcome to my life as Mrs Dew

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The sun’s rays appear more warm golden, the birds are chirping a merrier tune, the breeze whispers a more soothing symphony. Why? Because I have put a final end to procrastinating, said “to hell!” to my fears & insecurities about what my posts will look like, or who will bother to reach my posts. Will this dream be a success? Should I pour my soul, my heart, my essence into this journey just to have everything evaporate to thin air?

Here I sit, noises filtering in through the slightly ajar office door from other offices in the complex, I decided to get inspired by a new sunrise, early dawn bird choirs and type from my heart. 

My name is Tomini, I was blessed with wonderful parents & cultural heritage. With a Nigerian father and Malaysian Chinese mother, I was raised with my two brothers in 7 countries, across 3 continents.

The Dew Diary is about my life, my reflections on my past, my musings on lessons I have learnt and am learning from the Bible, my walk with Christ, life anecdotes, books I am reading, people who are inspiring me, and so on. Come explore with me my greatest cultural shock of returning to the land of my birth at the age of 22, and living in a bubble for the initial years of my stay. I fell in love, got married and being integrated into a more rural part of town brings its own adventures. Taking after my mum’s Asian features and light skin colour doesn’t help me blend but I am either given preferential treatment as a perceived foreigner, or try not to get swindled as market women see me as an opportunity to make an extra buck or two (more like extra 100s & 1,000s more in Naira, the local currency)!

I would like to use this blog, and an associated YouTube channel & Instagram page to inspire cancer, abuse or any other survivor, as well as share my past & current struggles with moving on in life while living with a diagnosis. Hopefully, you all in the global online community can encourage and inspire me in return. We can lift each other up as we run our own individual races in this journey called LIFE.

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Learning Boundaries

No more banging on doors, begging you to let me in

And try and try with all my might

How your heart am I supposed to win?

How can I expect others to respect me

When respect to myself I first must show?

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From the first day, I was on my knees

All my pleas, your anger can never cease

The tears drip till the heart bleeds dry

Beg and beg, you are deaf to all cry.

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I dance and fail to move to your tune,

With all my energy, I will my feet to move

To all my sweet charm, you are immune,

My self worth to you I shall never prove.

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Enough with all my defensiveness,

No more proving my fabulousness,

Time to learn who God made me to be

Pleasing Him is my utmost priority

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Take ownership, assume responsibility,

Their anger isn’t your fault, you see?

No more saying yes without thinking for myself

Learning to say no without fear of anger consequence

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I am brave, I am strong

I admit I am wrong,

I can learn, I can grow

I can love you healthily

…..

Mother’s Heart: Forever Love

My baby girl,

It is time to sleep;

Close your eyes,

Not one little peep.

Mommy’s gonna tell you

Of a love so deep

My love I give to you,

Love that’s yours to keep.

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A mother’s love doesn’t end

When her daughter

Down the aisle she sends,

This your mum found to be true,

As she entered marriage

And motherhood without a clue.

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Mom and grandma’s love relationship attempts,

Grew from one of strife, frustration and contempt,

To appreciation, mutual understanding and love,

Resentment now replaced with gratefulness to God above.

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Through tears, fights, disagreements in marriage,

A mother offers words of wisdom, prayer support

That bears her daughter up in heavenly carriage

Marriage now binds them in deeper rapport

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My little princess, this is just the beginning,

My heart, my time, my all, is yours for the taking,

May God bless this mother’s heart

Keep me by your side, never to depart.

Pouring rain, bikes and mom dates

Flying through the city,
Dust swirling without pity,
Zooming past the traffic,

Spirits soaring, heights terrific..
Through obstacles of time constraint,

Conflicting schedules, baby restraints,
Mommies twain to finally meet,

Giggles and smiles as we greet..No baby carriers, bag-full hands;No eyes roaming, yelling commands;Just two ecstatic ladies out on a date,Enjoying a delicious meeting of fate;Two kindred spirits, lovers of fashion,Yearning to break forth with passion

.Speeding back home to another encounter,

This time to the sound of pitter patter,

Rain drip dropping on my nylon covered hair,

Zooming through slick, empty streets with zesty flair,

No rain is going to dampen this mama’s spirits, I declare.

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Home at last, another mom date sits a- ‘waiting,

With her two adorables, chit chatting,

I see that precious little human my heart is missing,

Even though independence I just was relishing.

To the Nursing Fathers

A nursing father, you’d agree

Biological impossibility, he may be

I have come to know such an anomaly

He is the father of my child, you see…

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A harder working man has never crossed my sight,

Though you search for him with all your might,

Selfless, diligent, sweat he has sown

The comfort of wife and baby before his own

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He works, he toils, he perspires,

For his family’s best, he aspires,

A nursing father exudes strength beyond belief,

My Superman flies home much to my relief,

To take over our bundle of energy,

A fussing cry turns to squeals of glee

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Moms all over the world will agree and decide

Life as a parent is easier with you by our side,

May God continue to guide and strengthen you,

Crown your efforts with success, blessings in all you do

To the nursing Fathers I say

Have a fantastical Father’s Day!

Originally posted Fathers day 2019, on Christianmommas.com

Love as fragile as a Rose

Love as fragile as a Rose;
It’s beauty fully appreciated
When received as a single flower,
Or in a gorgeously adorned bouquet

You smell its fragrance
Only because you long to
As you inch closer to sniff,
Hands steering clear of its protective thorns

It is most appealing and vibrant
When freshly plucked, it shines
With rich, radiant rosiness,
Or its pure, graceful pearly white.

As time passes, alone it darkens.
The petals you see blacken
Slowly withers away, beauty fades.
But peel the outer layers away, reveals the beauty within

If you treasure the rose, love it.
To keep the love alive, nurture it.
Prune the rose, cut the stem diagonally.
Plant it within nutrient-enriched soil,

to see it thrive and flourish.

Though the thorns may bleed you
If you hastily approach, no caution.
But if you tenderly strip away the defenses of thorns,
Take the time to get closer and discover what lies beneath,
What joys, pleasures, sensations new experience brings
And you will forget the initial pricks and thorns,
As you enjoy a rose garden full of love.

Written by the much younger Mrs Dew 🙂

To all the weary moms…

To all the weary moms,

New recruits who have been through childbirth storms,

To labour pains you refused to cave,

Back screaming from radiating waves,

The lifeless feeling of a body drained of blood…

The oh so elusive sleep your whole being craves.

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Night blurs into days

Time now being kept to the cries of your new born babe,

The world revolves around feeding, diapers and bath times

Cobwebbed brain operating in automation mode

Striving to settle our precious one into our loving abode.

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Days runs into weeks that blend into months,

Baby learns to roll, then scoot turns into crawls

Dreaded immunizations as baby in pain bawls,

Then comes the time to introduce baby to solid food

The nursing mother thinks her salvation has arrived.

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To all the weary moms, I raise a song,

You are brave, selfless and strong,

Labour and childbirth didn’t make you keel,

One day at a time, your body will heal

And so the journey into motherhood

Evolves and revolves…

Photocredits: IG user @postpartum

Heart heavy Dream Desires

Dreams
…..Hopes
……….Desires
…………..Wishes
…………………Dreams

The heart sighs with its heavy, unfulfilled desires;
The mind churns with plans for my ultimate future;
So much to do, many places to go;
Scores of people to meet, kilometers of paths to tread;
Mountain after Mountain to take captive of;
Battles to be fought, Lessons to be learned;
Becoming a victor is no small feat;
To be triumphant over the wars of life is the end goal.

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The journey of a thousand miles begins with a thought, a dream;
Followed by more dreams, encouraged by faith and freedom;
Freedom to take an action at a time, to follow dreams;
There is much to do, careful planning is needed;
A time for everything, a time for realistic planning;
Focusing on one thing at a time.

It is time to reign in those wild horses of thoughts;
Time to take count, rank in order of importance;
Next, it is imminent to put into practice one thought;
Follow through to the end. IF impossible to succeed,
Re-evaluate the plan of action vital for dreams to take flight.

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Note this, there is no dream impossible to dream;
If it is right and true, heavens will smile down;
And together with faith and hardwork,
WILL see this dream through until it becomes YOUR REALITY

The heartbeat races

The heartbeat races
The brain pounds to the beat
Of the reverberating drum of life

People to love,
Lovers who break your heart,
Friends to cherish
Buddies who betray your trust

Life is a double sided coin,
Life is a rollercoaster, a journey, an adventure,
Life is your tune to create.
It all depends on perspective and attitude.

Humanity: violence and hope

The World, I fear, has lost its mind;
It’s running amuck, humanity is stuck in a grind:
Hacked to death, storms a’raging;
Terrorists’ plots and massacres from bombings;
The news around invades one’s peace of mind.

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Politics, a terrorizing version of chess;
The true nature of a leader steers us all towards chaos or progress.
The Media adds fuel to riots galore;
Violent-ridden streets, rivers of blood and gore.
It is time for wisdom to rule, time to think for oneself.

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Youths in their years of twenty-somethings,
Caught up amidst turmoil and woes, what is life’s meaning?
We are now adults, still lost in a storm;
We’ve forgotten where we came from,
Lost in the thrill of chasing Forbes-Hollywood of fortune and fame.

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As a youth and leader of tomorrow,
Now is the time to educate, observe, avoid past mistakes and sorrow;
Decide who I am and where I want to be.
A better world starts from within, you see?
I shall not be caught up with the masses and their passivity.

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Dearest reader, stop all the hustle;
Reflect, and breathe life outside of your passionless daily hassles.
Re-evaluate your goals and priorities;
Life is filled with endless possibilities!
Who are you? What legacy do you want to leave behind?
Do you want to be swept up with the masses, endlessly stuck in the grind?
Or do you want to set new visions, forge a new road to a brighter future
For your children who are yet to arrive into this tumultuous world?

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This is a Poem I wrote in the wake of #UK cleaver-murder of 22nd May, 2013, originally posted on an old Facebook page i started here

6 years ago I wrote this post. The last chapter brings chills down my spine, as when I wrote this, I had no idea I would be a parent any time soon.

Now with a daughter of my own, this poem resonates on a whole new level with me. What sort of world have I brought our daughter into?

What can I do starting today that will build a better world she can live in and thrive?

What can YOU do to be the change the world needs in your little corner today.

You can choose to be different

Be a positive influence to your siblings, classmates, colleagues, neighbors, employees and even the bosses above you.

If you are blessed with greater spheres of influence in education, politics, engineering, medicine, etc, stop being afraid of ridicule and stand for what is right!

This was written by a younger, more idealized version of me…you once were a better person, you had dreams of a better future…you can still uphold those standards of integrity and make the younger you proud!

Write write write

The art of blogging

I stumbled upon

In all my searching

A better blogger

I most long to be.

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This advice was oft’n repeated:

Write, write and continuously write

So here I lie among feathered filled pillows,

Tired body crying for the embrace of sleep,

One ear cocked in the direction of the crib,

Inspiration has long gone to rest.

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And still I write

Begin this journey

I write and I write

Time to oil my pen

Exercise muscles

Heart, Hand, brain and soul

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Write from the heart

Write from the brain

Write from experience

And non-existence