Trading in My Fears for Faith in God

As I hold our precious daughter in my arms, struggling with her elongated arms and legs sliding out of my grasp, I jiggle her up and down as I rock her to sleep to the whirring rhythm of our ceiling fan.

There is a humongous mountain of unvoiced fears hovering at the back of my subconscious. Fears of the unknown, a looming new stage of life in front of me.

I have been a stay at home mom for the past 16 months that stretched on endlessly, yet flew by unbelievably. I have never spent a night away from our baby. Being a “stay home mom” became my identity, my purpose, my pride, my joy, my peace of mind. I had my daughter under my watchful gaze 95% of the time and I did my best to maintain a nurturing environment for her to develop, grow, and learn.

I believe it’s time for my daughter to start school so I can have some breathing space and productive use of time. I have been stubbornly on the thrill of freedom I will soon experience when my daughter starts day care even if for just half a day each week day.

Since December of last year I have been taking slow but steady steps of personal and career development..I recently realized I need space and time to really lift some enterprises off the ground.

As I cling tightly to our young toddler, I cling unto faith that God is in control. In this instant, I could either pray, or poke the mountain of fear and have it all come crashing down on me to drown beneath the weight of it all.

One of the names we gave our daughter came from us entrusting her into the care of God. I had to literally say it out to God again last night: God, I am handing our daughter into your care.

I prayed that God will assign the right care givers. I prayed that God will give her heavenly immune system and protect her from illness and disease . I prayed God will take control of every detail concerning her future (Jeremiah 29:11). I prayed that God will place her in His angels’ care so when she falls, she will not dash her foot against a stone (Psalms 91:11).

I would have prayed for longer but I couldn’t ignore the ache in my arms anymore. Plus our little angel was snoring peacefully.

One more prayer God…or two…

She has been waking up whimpering or crying for the past week. So I prayed that the peace of God that passeth all understanding would rest over her. God grant your beloved child sweet sleep.

And lastly God, help me to pray every time I am tempted to over think things and give into worry and fears. Help me to be a prayer warrior and intercede for every area of my life, my marriage, my child, my ministry and my career. Amen

Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

Originally wrote this article here

The most delicious cup of Coffee

I sit here savoring each sip, enjoying the steaming rich aroma of one of my favorite scents: coffee! My tongue savors the most delicious, hot, silky, creamy, sweet liquid and passes it on for my yearning throat to swallow.

A crow announces its flight through the trees in our garden with its Ca-caw, ca-caw. Two little birdies chase each other around the mustard yellow and green leafy branches of the umbrella tree nearby , twittering sweetly.

The gauzy curtain of the windows flutters and gently sways as cool breeze flows into our dining room. Gentle and consistent hammering from the nearby factory provides the background music, while Chinese rhymes are playing from the tablet beside me.

My daughter sits attentively in her high chair, allowing me some moments to savour my first cup of coffee in forever. I have never tasted anything more delicious! No fancy coffeehouse, coffee art or cafe with beautiful decor can rival my current experience.

Calm contentedness fills every fibre of my being. It has been half a year since I entered my third decade and the self transformation continues. Not transformation so much as self realization. I had been in hibernation mode for so many years, cruising through life on Auto-Pilot. Allowing life to happen and pushing me along.

Curling my fingers around my warm pink ceramic mug, my mind wanders. My body’s hormonal system once again adjusting to cutting back milk supply due to our baby’s weaning. Hence the end of my coffee sabbatical. Woohoo!

A large chunk of my readers are wondering: what is all the fuss about? Coffee is your daily ritual, Starbucks within easy reach. But living here in Nigeria, coffee is a luxurious treat.

The past couple of weeks has been a bit of emotional adjustment for both mother and daughter. Lack of sleep, as daddy had to take over her nightly waking and hold her as she cried for her two-three times a night breast-milk snack. I used to think I have a high level of pain-tolerance but i questioned that when dealing with breast engorgement, headaches and body aches such as I never imagined possible.

Weaning was a bittersweet transition because on the one hand, I missed the oxytocin-facilitated bonding with our daughter in breastfeeding sessions: the overwhelming feelings of love, happiness boost and closeness to our daughter.

I can’t imagine how difficult it was for baby girl to be cut off from suckling from mummy as she had done from the first day she was introduced to the world. Baby girl also had to learn how to adjust to a main source of comfort by finding comfort in mama through other means: cuddles, neck guzzling and so forth.

On the up-side: weaning marks a sort of transition from a newbie mum, a nursing mum to a “toddler mum”? I feel like I have graduated to next phase of parenting. The freedom of not nursing anymore is thrilling! Any other stay home mamas know what on Earth I am talking about? 😀

I put so many things on hold so I could give everything I could to personally oversee her care. So am definitely looking forward to easing back into other interests and business pursuits. So Exciting!

Hope you enjoyed all the musings the most delicious cup of coffee brought me!

Pouring rain, bikes and mom dates

Flying through the city,
Dust swirling without pity,
Zooming past the traffic,
Spirits soaring, heights terrific..
Through obstacles of time constraint,

Conflicting schedules, baby restraints,
Mommies twain to finally meet,

Giggles and smiles as we greet.

.No baby carriers, bag-full hands;

No eyes roaming, yelling commands;

Just two ecstatic ladies out on a date,

Enjoying a delicious meeting of fate;

Two kindred spirits, lovers of fashion,

Yearning to break forth with passion

.

.Speeding back home to another encounter,

This time to the sound of pitter patter,

Rain drip dropping on my nylon covered hair,

Zooming through slick, empty streets with zesty flair,

No rain is going to dampen this mama’s spirits, I declare.

.

Home at last, another mom date sits a- ‘waiting,

With her two adorables, chit chatting,

I see that precious little human my heart is missing,

Even though independence I just was relishing.

To the Nursing Fathers

A nursing father, you’d agree

Biological impossibility, he may be

I have come to know such an anomaly

He is the father of my child, you see…

.

A harder working man has never crossed my sight,

Though you search for him with all your might,

Selfless, diligent, sweat he has sown

The comfort of wife and baby before his own

.

He works, he toils, he perspires,

For his family’s best, he aspires,

A nursing father exudes strength beyond belief,

My Superman flies home much to my relief,

To take over our bundle of energy,

A fussing cry turns to squeals of glee

.

Moms all over the world will agree and decide

Life as a parent is easier with you by our side,

May God continue to guide and strengthen you,

Crown your efforts with success, blessings in all you do

To the nursing Fathers I say

Have a fantastical Father’s Day!

Originally posted Fathers day 2019, on Christianmommas.com

To all the weary moms…

To all the weary moms,

New recruits who have been through childbirth storms,

To labour pains you refused to cave,

Back screaming from radiating waves,

The lifeless feeling of a body drained of blood…

The oh so elusive sleep your whole being craves.

.

Night blurs into days

Time now being kept to the cries of your new born babe,

The world revolves around feeding, diapers and bath times

Cobwebbed brain operating in automation mode

Striving to settle our precious one into our loving abode.

.

Days runs into weeks that blend into months,

Baby learns to roll, then scoot turns into crawls

Dreaded immunizations as baby in pain bawls,

Then comes the time to introduce baby to solid food

The nursing mother thinks her salvation has arrived.

.

To all the weary moms, I raise a song,

You are brave, selfless and strong,

Labour and childbirth didn’t make you keel,

One day at a time, your body will heal

And so the journey into motherhood

Evolves and revolves…

Photocredits: IG user @postpartum

Bringing a Smile to Mommy’s Face


One of my greatest pleasures as a mom is that my baby girl thinks I am the funniest human ever. My smile is contagious and her face lights up when I’m happy. When she sees me happy, she starts giggling and doing her jiggly dance.

Happy baby, happy mama

It works both ways as well. My heart swells with joy when I see our Angel enjoying a first time experience, or giggling or flashing me her dimpled smile.

Everyday, I learn so many new things about human growth and development. One of them is that babies are born with high emotional intelligence. It amazes me!


Just because a baby may not understand what one is saying doesn’t mean one shouldn’t talk to them properly. I have discovered that babies understand facial expressions and they are able to develop facial expression preference. It is possible that their favorite expression is when daddy and mummy smiles at them.

I wonder how many of us, myself included possess a child-like desire to do the right thing, live holy and do everything we can to bring a smile to God’s face?!

HERE ARE FEW WAYS WE CAN PLEASE GOD OR BRING A SMILE TO GOD’S FACE:

1. Have faith in God

The number one way we make God happy is when we believe that God exists and seek Him with all our heart (Hebrews 11:6).

2. Fear God

To fear God means to reverence Him and everything in our life is done to please Him (Psalms 147:10-11).


3. Live a holy life

God calls us to be holy, just as He is holy (1 Peter 1:15-16). We shouldn’t use our humanity as an excuse to behave as we wish. A desire to live a holy life springs up when we believe in God’s existence, fear Him and gain a deeper understanding of who God is. One way to live a holy life, pleasing unto God is to honor God with our bodies. Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).


Smile on me, your servant; teach me the right way to live (Psalm 119:135).


May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace. Numbers 6:25-26

I wrote this post originally for Christianmommas.com

I first wrote this article here

I survived my 1st year of parenting!

And just like that, it is now a day to our baby girl’s first birthday and I want to scream to the entire world “I survived my first year of being a mama!!”

I imagine myself drenched in sweat, weary from countless nights of interrupted sleep, dirt under my fingernails from all the poopy diapers I have changed, standing victoriously on a mountaintop. Yes I am on top of the first mountain in a whole range of mountains, but for now I want a pat on the back, an award for participation. A personal moment to say “girl, you did it!”.

This time last year, I was on one of several beds in the labour ward. Anyone who has any experience with Nigeria hospitals will imagine or know first hand the trepidation I felt. I had to constantly use exercise my faith so as not to be overcome with worry . All I knew was that as long as I had a natural birth, by the grace of God, I and my baby will be in good hands.

I was divinely favoured to have a relatively pleasant and easy labour and delivery story (no need to bore you with my tales of the inadequacies of the healthcare system here). With simple child-like faith, I believed for a relatively stress-free labour experience and I was beaming (like a child who opened their Christmas gift to find it was what she has asked for and doubted whether she will get it) when I found out I was 2cm dilated with pain-free contractions. There were some challenging moments as time when doctors insisted I go for a C-section but honestly the whole experience was divinely blessed with God’s grace.

Our child has been a blessing from the moment of conception, to labour and unbelievably easy pushing part of the delivery. I literally pushed and grunted and our baby slid out.

Within first few minutes of her birth, a song of praise burst forth from my lips. Mind you, the words was more or less whispered under my breath as I was exhausted and beyond famished. As they were stitching me up, I turned my head and watched in awe as they cleaned up this pale skinned, raven haired little human with olive oil.

The struggles and anticipation of the previous nine months and the grueling ordeal of labour were already fading into memory.

How do I condense all the struggles of a rookie mama into a paragraph? Or two? The journey of bonding with our precious baby was no walk in the park. It is assumed that because a baby grew inside of you for nine months, you will form a magical bond that will detect whether they are hungry, tired or need to go poopy.

In the first several months, the process of trying to figure out why your baby is fussing goes like this:

Changed her diaper, check. Nursed her like five minutes ago so she can’t be hungry. She just napped like 30 minutes ago. Probably she is feeling the heat? Is she feeling uncomfortable because of the immunization shots she took yesterday?

Oh I look back with fondness at how frazzled different stages of the past year made me. From mommy and baby struggling to latch properly, figuring how to nurse baby girl in public like it’s no big deal, to learning how to survive the crowded immunization clinic days. Dealing with immunization aftermath like fevers, swollen tenderness and fussiness. Teething periods. Introducing solids. Progressing through purees to semi solids to beaming in pride as baby girl ate a whole banana by herself.

Oh and the moments when as a parent I beamed with pride and urged our baby girl to perfect a milestone or new skill: holding things with her fingers, grasping, rolling over, pulling herself forward, crawling, pulling up, standing, cruising and so on.

Right now we are helping our daughter learn how to perfect her balance and walking. As parents we are always teaching and encouraging our children to improve or perfect new skills and talents but there are so many lessons our little ones teach us to. I recently did an article on lessons I have learned from observing baby girl learn to walk. (Read here)

I honestly don’t know what my second year as a parent will hold but that’s what makes being a first time parent be so much fun.

Please share stories about your experiences with me too! What was your most challenging and rewarding moment in the first years of your child’s life? Is it easier the second or third “child” around? 🙂

Training my 10-month old baby girl





“You people are late, you have spoilt her, you should have started training her before 6 months,” my Nigerian dad said from the head of the sturdy oak dining table a few days ago.




Then began my attempts to defend my parenting abilities “well daddy, she only recently began to understand “No”. She just turned 10 months… there is still plenty of hope for discipline.”




After that, I don’t know what possessed me to explain how she is already showing signs of a strong will and how she clenches her teeth and sometimes squeezes her eyes shut when I am derailing her exploratory efforts with “No” and finger wagging.




“Great, you just confirmed what daddy is saying!”, I mentally chide myself. Am I supposed to spank a 10-month-old?




Anyone familiar with the Nigerian parenting style will sympathize with me. I have been exposed to many homes with varied styles of parenting and I know the result of a total lack of discipline.




It’s almost inevitable that the visit to my parent’s place during the weekend of the (failed/postponed) Nigerian presidential elections gave me an opportunity to reflect on, decide and actively implement how best I want to raise our child with my husband. After all, we did promise in front of God and our church to raise her in fear and knowledge of God…..



Partnering with God in Parenting




Often we are so tempted to Google everything when it comes to the unknown and we try to equip ourselves with medical and expert advice gathered from research studies. My Google dependence soared to new heights from the moment I got pregnant. However, God is the one who created our precious ones. He alone knows all the gifts, talents and abilities He has deposited in our children.


For rest of this post, click here