Bringing a Smile to Mommy’s Face


One of my greatest pleasures as a mom is that my baby girl thinks I am the funniest human ever. My smile is contagious and her face lights up when I’m happy. When she sees me happy, she starts giggling and doing her jiggly dance.

Happy baby, happy mama

It works both ways as well. My heart swells with joy when I see our Angel enjoying a first time experience, or giggling or flashing me her dimpled smile.

Everyday, I learn so many new things about human growth and development. One of them is that babies are born with high emotional intelligence. It amazes me!


Just because a baby may not understand what one is saying doesn’t mean one shouldn’t talk to them properly. I have discovered that babies understand facial expressions and they are able to develop facial expression preference. It is possible that their favorite expression is when daddy and mummy smiles at them.

I wonder how many of us, myself included possess a child-like desire to do the right thing, live holy and do everything we can to bring a smile to God’s face?!

HERE ARE FEW WAYS WE CAN PLEASE GOD OR BRING A SMILE TO GOD’S FACE:

1. Have faith in God

The number one way we make God happy is when we believe that God exists and seek Him with all our heart (Hebrews 11:6).

2. Fear God

To fear God means to reverence Him and everything in our life is done to please Him (Psalms 147:10-11).


3. Live a holy life

God calls us to be holy, just as He is holy (1 Peter 1:15-16). We shouldn’t use our humanity as an excuse to behave as we wish. A desire to live a holy life springs up when we believe in God’s existence, fear Him and gain a deeper understanding of who God is. One way to live a holy life, pleasing unto God is to honor God with our bodies. Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).


Smile on me, your servant; teach me the right way to live (Psalm 119:135).


May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace. Numbers 6:25-26

I wrote this post originally for Christianmommas.com

I first wrote this article here

Two Lessons From Observing My Little Human Learn to Walk

My Daughter’s Walking Adventure

I imagine that like myself, most parents cannot wait for the moment their baby learns or starts to walk independently.

My daughter first used her playpen as a safe space to test the limits of gravity as well as practice her pulling up.

The moment she could pull herself up at 7 months, she would stand for like 20 minutes (yes, I timed her once). Later, she proceeded to holding on to edges and going around her playpen in endless circles. Before long, she would try going from one edge to the other, toppling down over and over, smashing her face into the netted mesh on the sides of the playpen. I know she took her first steps in the play pen long ago. But I am not sure that counts as walking ….

Interesting enough, when she was in the living room, she would turn into the most cautious of little princesses; holding on daintily to furniture and cruising, choosing to stick to the safety of crawling from furniture A to B.

I was ecstatic when at 10 months+, she finally got bold enough to venture a few steps between the center table and sofa. Our baby girl then started her journey proper in learning how to walk.

Lesson 1: Walk by Faith

A few days ago, I read a verse in the Bible that talks about how Christians are to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). This verse made me think twice about the concept of walking because for the first time in my life, I have closely observed a little human learning how to walk.

First of all, what is faith? The Bible says that Faith is when one relies with absolute confidence and assurance even though we haven’t seen it physically with our eyes yet (Hebrews 11:1).

So how does one walk in faith?

When my baby girl started to walk, her eyes developed laser sharp focus for the closest piece of furniture at hand and toddles as fast as she can before she loses her balance and falls down splat on the marble tiled floor. How do we apply this to walking in faith?

As I meditated again on the aforementioned scriptures, I realized that I can hold on to God’s word in my faith walk like my daughter holding on to the furniture in her walking adventure. I can cling on with all hope to Scripture verses as God’s promises for me. God says He will never leave us nor forsake us.

So when I go through a situation that seems so unbearable, when I feel so overwhelmed and there is no way out, I can lift my hand up to the heavens and toddle forward in faith holding on to the scriptures for motivation to move forward through the open space of turbulent uncertainty (John 16:33).

Lesson 2: Develop Those Faith Muscles

In just a week and a half, our baby improved so much in balance, confidence and number of steps she could take at a time. She practices walking relentlessly everyday till she is exhausted or hungry. Her leg muscles are strengthened and her balance improves with each practice session.

How do we develop our faith muscles? Faith comes by listening over and over to the Word of God (Romans 10:17), spending time with God’s Word and also exercising and walking, holding onto God’s promises. Not allowing what we see in the physical to keep us from walking in Faith.

As a new momma struggling to get through different routines throughout the day on barest minimum sleep, it can be difficult to maintain our quiet time. I imagine that even veteran mommas with several children, juggling work, PTA meetings, and church ministry activities will even struggle more to find few moments of quietness.

Thankfully, we have many modern technologies and the internet to help us out with that. We can listen to Christian messages on several different platforms, from TBN, FaithTV and other satellite TV channels, YouTube, Instagram and our different apps for listening to audiobooks.

A great and seriously underutilized resource is the YouVersion Bible App. For those of us who struggle to be motivated to read through the Bible in a year, I recommend their Bible devotionals.

I have been enjoying the “Bible in one year 2019” reading plan as it has an audio read along version that’s amazing to follow when my hands are a bit busy or I am nursing and want to listen to God’s Word. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. It has detailed commentaries and practical applications of the assigned readings for the day and it will proceed to go through the chapters assigned but only in certain versions like NIV.

Dear mommas and sisters, as we spend more time listening to the Word of God, and walking in faith, it won’t just feel like we are stumbling through life’s challenges anymore. As our faith muscles strengthen, we should, like Peter be able to take firm bold steps over the raging stormy waters in our life, our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our Faith.

P.S: As most of us mommas struggle with exhaustion and function on little sleep, we can start walking by faith by believing God concerning his promises that God is our strength, and that we can do all things through Christ who strengths us (Philippians 4:13)

I originally wrote this article for this site

Training my 10-month old baby girl





“You people are late, you have spoilt her, you should have started training her before 6 months,” my Nigerian dad said from the head of the sturdy oak dining table a few days ago.




Then began my attempts to defend my parenting abilities “well daddy, she only recently began to understand “No”. She just turned 10 months… there is still plenty of hope for discipline.”




After that, I don’t know what possessed me to explain how she is already showing signs of a strong will and how she clenches her teeth and sometimes squeezes her eyes shut when I am derailing her exploratory efforts with “No” and finger wagging.




“Great, you just confirmed what daddy is saying!”, I mentally chide myself. Am I supposed to spank a 10-month-old?




Anyone familiar with the Nigerian parenting style will sympathize with me. I have been exposed to many homes with varied styles of parenting and I know the result of a total lack of discipline.




It’s almost inevitable that the visit to my parent’s place during the weekend of the (failed/postponed) Nigerian presidential elections gave me an opportunity to reflect on, decide and actively implement how best I want to raise our child with my husband. After all, we did promise in front of God and our church to raise her in fear and knowledge of God…..



Partnering with God in Parenting




Often we are so tempted to Google everything when it comes to the unknown and we try to equip ourselves with medical and expert advice gathered from research studies. My Google dependence soared to new heights from the moment I got pregnant. However, God is the one who created our precious ones. He alone knows all the gifts, talents and abilities He has deposited in our children.


For rest of this post, click here



















Wedding Anniversary: 2 years celebration

Twas two years ago to this day
That I walked down the aisle & vowed
To stick with you, come what may…
Walking on a cloud by your side,
Was the beginning of our journey,
As we began to build our home in stride.

Look at us two years into our journey,
God has blessed us in so many ways
A family of two now turned three,
I pray God’s love with us stays
His wisdom and knowledge to be our guide
And Holy Spirit, the teacher by our side.

Happy Anniversary my darling heart

May God comfort the weary soul

If words could adequately describe
My bone-weary, battle-bruised exhaustion,
Eyes tingling and heavy from shedding an ocean of tears;
Head cobwebbed from a night of constant interrupted sleep;
Body weighed down from physical exhaustion,
Heart crushed and aching,
Soul quietly fading

All praises belong to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he is the Father of tender mercy and the God of endless comfort.

He always comes alongside us to comfort us in every suffering so that we can come alongside those who are in any painful trial. We can bring them this same comfort that God has poured out upon us.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 TPT

The day barely begun, already I have been through the emotional rollercoaster and back. I swore I will respect myself today. No more begging and groveling, no more chasing barefeet and bare-soul. God, I asked him for some mercy but Your Word says You are the Father of tender mercy. Wrap my battered soul in Your arms of endless comfort. Gone are the days I could spend wallowing in shame, regret and self-abasement. As a mother of a suckling babe, please help me to be stronger, a warrior in this area of weakness.

Almost instantly you send me your answer, as she raises her adorable doe-eyes to mine, lips smack in satiated satisfaction, she flashes her one-cheeked dimpled smile and utters her good morning in her own language “aaeesh ba ba ba ba…”.

You are a God who answers prayer. Your answer was already lying within my arms as I wrestled the emotions within. Help me to forgive and to love the way You love me. Unconditionally. With patience, kindness, and perseverant endurance.

Today Lord, I chose to turn to you instead of wrapping myself in my present circumstances or lack thereof. Help me Lord to do so even as I am tempted to fall into old habits.

Thank You Lord for your many blessings. The cool breeze sweeping through the room, bringing comfort to my weary head. Thank you God for the divine gift of motherhood and the seemingly bottomless reservoir of strength you provided along with it. With the challenges of keeping charge of an active little gymnast, you have provided the grace and strength. With all I have been through and all that I am going through, I know that You are God.

Thank You for the promises in your Word: I choose to trust that You will work all things out for my good. Thank you for the plans you have for me to prosper me and not to harm me. Thank you that though I walk through the waters, you will not allow me to drown. Even amongst the blazing fires of suffering and trials, you will not allow me to burn.

Thank you for the gifts you deposited in me. I know the present trial is to push me to reach within myself and tap into dormant gifts and use them to shine for your Glory and to testify to your mercy, comfort and unending goodness. Free me of this fear-mindset that has held me back for far too long. I choose to walk in confidence and boldness of the calling you have set before me. Thank you that You are my strength in the areas of my weakness. Amen

Head faintly throbbing,
Eyes still tingling and heavy,
Ears ringing with squeals and baby babbles,
Stirrings of hope rising in this tired soul
Sunlight streams through the netted windows
Filling my world with a warm, comforting golden hue,
Reaching down into the reservoirs of strength,
I rise up to face the day

If troubles weigh us down, that just means that we will receive even more comfort to pass on to you for your deliverance! For the comfort pouring into us empowers us to bring comfort to you. And with this comfort upholding you, you can endure victoriously the same suffering that we experience. Now our hope for you is unshakable, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings you will also share in God’s comforting strength.
2 Corinthians 1:6‭-‬7 TPT

My Companion for Life, My Forever Valentine

My companion for life,
Calm sailing, amidst strife;
Constant cuddle bunny,
Through dark nights rainy,
Planning, working, building,
By Gods grace prevailing.

Commitment type of love
Comes only from above,
Unconditionally,
Help me Lord, I’m weary
To love him through the hurt
Though his words spite and curt.

Show me Lord this divine love,
Most when push comes to shove;
Grant me your perfect peace,
Forgiveness to release
Your patience and kindness.

Forever Valentine,
I am yours, you are mine;
Our vows a renewal,
I become valuable,
Excuses to steer clear,
God’s grace will be my guide,
You’ll need no more to chide.

I want my husband to be more like…

I want my husband to be like Ben Carson
I want my husband to be like Joel Osteen
I want my husband to be like Myles Munroe
I want my husband to be like Robert Kiyosaki
I want my husband to be like Jentezen Franklin
I want my husband to be like Billy Graham
I want my husband to be like Barrack Obama
I want my husband to be like Roger Federer

We want our husbands to be more spiritual, more pastoral, better entrepreneurs, more emotionally intelligent, more successful, a better investor, a more hardworking author/ athlete/businessman, etc. If only our husbands spent more time praying, reading the word of God, exercising, eating healthy, furthering their degree or registering in that professional course/certification…

Maybe life would be so much better if we married men who have already reached their full potential. We can sit here and envy the wives of men we admire as world leaders, Forbes list successes, Hollywood celebrities, fabulously rich and famous athletes. We compare our husbands to them, scrutinize their every weakness under our loving wifey lens. We just want them to reach their full potential, it isn’t called scrutiny or discontent! It is so easy to focus on other’s weaknesses and ignore our own, after all no one has created a mirror for us to view our blemishes that are invisible to the eye.

It is such a human trait to always find discontent in anything and everything. As a stay-at-home mum of an adorable, vivacious 10 month old, it is so easy to admire a female friend or classmate who is currently working as a surgeon, or successful entrepreneur. Whereas last month, I had three female classmates gush at how lucky I am to be married and have a beautiful child. In their eyes, I am living a fulfilled life.

Ah but when I look into that dimpled smile, with her two tiny rabbit teeth peaking through, or hear that cute giggle, I just may be the most blessed person on this planet!

Discontentment can lead to so so many other issues and can Rob you of happiness and fulfilment. And discontentment in marriage often accompanies a constant nagging voice at the back of your head that questions whether or not you have picked the best partner in life.

Let us consider the wives of those men whom we are comparing our husbands to. Most didn’t marry the men as we know them today, we have no idea what the women went through. These women most often than not married ordinary men with great vision, potential. These great women endured hardships, put up with husband’s initial frustrations, failures and temper tantrums. They learnt how to make the best of tiny paychecks and juggle life’s responsibilities and challenges. Some became prayer warriors, fasting and patiently waited on God. Of course they had their failings but in the end they dusted themselves off and also developed themselves.

Let us take advantage of the new year to have a fresh start. Let us purpose to develop ourselves, work on our weakness, with the focus more on becoming the best spouse, woman, entrepreneur, employee, friend and sister you can be. Instead of wallowing in discontent, whether it be in our marriage, career, friend choices, personality/behavior, etc, let us purpose to DO something about it. Let us choose to believe and hope in the best. For most of us, myself included, it is easier to see the best in others while being our own worst enemy. But that could turn into a whole blog post, or series of posts.

Today, let’s stop comparing our spouse, marriage or homes to that of our sister, BFF, neighbor, colleague, classmate, church member or even celebrity.

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.
Ephesians 5:22‭-‬24 MSG

First and foremost as a wife, our job is to understand and support our husbands. Also we need to ask God to help us love our husbands the way God loves them. Ask God to reveal who our husbands are and to understand their strengths and the ways they need us to support and respect them. We can come to God with our requests in prayer, areas of weaknesses, temperament or lack of discipline. We cannot change our husbands, only God can.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6 NIV

Is there anything you want changed in your marriage or in your spouse? Have you tried looking at yourself from your spouse’s perspective? What is the ONE thing you can start/stop doing today to become a better wife to your husband?

May God help us all, Amen.

Woohoo 2019, Hello WordPress!

My adorable chubby cheeked 9 month old baby girl lies asleep in my arms, gently snoring after a nursing session. After 9 months of this motherhood thing, I expertly multitask, taking advantage to type my first blog post of 2019:

I had initially thought life would return back to “on track” 6 months postpartum… Baby girl will turn 9 months exactly in 4 days and I realize I will need to take determined steps and probably make further sacrifices on sleep to make that happen.

It’s so tempting to remain in this comfy, heartmelting bubble of home building as a stay at home mum, putting everything on hold to be there every step of the way for their first year. Nursing one’s first child, showering their feathery cheeks with endless butterfly kisses, oohing and aahing over everything they do, watching them first roll their way into exploring the world, to getting excited about introducing solid foods. Fellow mums will understand my puree vs. Baby led weaning dilemmas, diaper emergencies etc

So thrilled with each new milestone. From the moment baby girl mastered sitting, she started crawling forwards (she used to push herself back for the longest time was so hilarious!). A week later, she was already pulling herself up to stand. And now expertly crawls, climbs, jumps, cruises holding onto anything she can grab onto.

We moved into our home when she was 3 months and with one project after another plus keeping an eye out on an energetic mobile 9 month old…its hard to keep track on how time flies!

She is still knocked out in the cradle of my right elbow, so I have managed to type up my first blog post since I was heavily pregnant. I have been so shy to share this blog with classmates, friends, associates who have known me in person because only some friends know the health challenges I went through as I didn’t want to be defined by them. What pushed me to restart my blog ASAP in 2019 is because of Andrea, my first blogger friend who encouraged me when I was so hesitant on WordPress.

So much has happened healthwise, I took a real leap of faith ever since I became pregnant with our precious miracle and I need a whole book of blogposts to document this faith journey. In summary, have been off my chemo meds since becoming pregnant and stayed off to breastfeed and give our baby the healthiest start possible in life. With all the stress of full time motherhood + not having a full night of uninterrupted sleep in 9 months, I have never broken down And never been this healthy and strong since my diagnosis. God has been so so faithful. In so so many other areas of my life. I know I have been social media quiet for the most part in 2018 but it has been so so busy adjusting to been a new wife, a mama, moving across town, managing a bigger home., owning two dogs for first time and still managing to go on The sewing machine to create matching outfits for baby girl and I..

I know I feel like Oliver Twist with nagging sense of dissatisfaction with so many dreams bubbling inside of e yet to be realized but if 2018 could produce miracle of life and health… My career, hopes, dreams and unutilized talents should be no small feat to become a reality in 2019 right?

Happy new year to you dearest reader, have an amazingly fabulous and blessed 2019!

P.S I DID IT!! She just woke up now hitting publish!!

Teen dealing with life change: CML, Processing and 2nd Opinion

I just did not know how to process this abrupt halt to life as I knew it. I had worked so hard over the past 2 years for this IB Diploma, accepted by European and UK universities. I had handed in all my papers, research papers, clocked in my CAS 150hours outside of school time, finished two years worth of coursework. And I was supposed to stay home, play sick while I was supposed to prepare for final exams?

The only place I could go to was the Beijing Teaching hospital and I had to wear a mask to protect my fragile immune system. Thankfully I didn’t have long to mope about at home, bolting myself behind my bedroom doors so I can have the freedom to mope and regret this new life turn. To those at home, I tried to maintain my cheerful attitude but couldn’t help to snap out at being treated so vulnerably.

I tried my best to reach out to a few of my closest friends to share the real reason why they aren’t seeing me in classes. Also my friends in my previous school whom I am bonded with more closely had come to visit me in hospital to meet a brave and smiling face. I didn’t know when I was initiated into the world of dark humour as a phone call to a friend who had relocated to Hong Kong proved. I had tried to crack jokes and shine a positive light on things when her laughter suddenly turned to sobs. Oops…my jokes might have gone too far. 

My close friends started to see me as this strong warrior where inside I was falling apart. The world as I knew it had changed. I mean everything was exactly the same, but just the thought that my future was snatched away from me without a single heads up…..

At the age of 17, I could still rest in the safe comfort of my parents doing all the worrying and researching and finding out my available treatment options. It was through my experience, I realised how blessed I was. My dad found favour with his bosses who pulled strings to get me immediate medical attention worldwide. Even in those moments of silent tears, heart wrenching sobs and shouting into my pillow or wadded up towel “WHY GOD??? WHY ME??? WHY NOW?? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?? ARE YOU PUNISHING ME FOR BEING BAD???”

I listened to Christian songs, I clung unto with dear life to verses my parents shared with me to encourage me: 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

 

 That means, God did not give me CML to punish me, no matter go through, we shouldn’t see it as bad karma or universe hates us, or there is no God. God is good, and God is love. Many times, I would struggle with how if God is good, bad things can happen to a girl who tried her whole childhood to be on her best behaviour, loved God and wasn’t afraid to tell her friends about God and even risked social exclusion. I would cry and cry in my room, the only place I could honestly deal with my situation, and after each time, it was as if invisible arms cradled me close and soaked away all my tears and negative feelings weighing me down. I would feel comforted, and the truth of God’s word would be revealed to my mind, reach deep down into my soul. I was assured, over and over again throughout each consecutive year that anything that happens to us, God will work it out for our good in the end:

And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.

ROMANS 8:28 AMP

I listened to Lynda Randle’s song “God on the mountain” over and over, repeating those words with every shred of faith I had accumulated over the years of my childhood “For the God of the mountain is still God in the valley, when things go wrong, He’ll make them right. And the God of the good times is still God in the bad times, the God of the day is still God in the night.”
Insert YouTube clip

So many Christian songs ministered to me and I played certain tapes from my childhood Kid’s praise and Sunday School sing a long over and over again. There were countless times I felt no one understood, it felt like the end of my life as I knew it. More scientific research on the internet brought more hopelessness as the only cure to this CML (Chronic Myelogenous Leukaemia) was a bone marrow transplant, then again, one might not always survive it with a 50% chance of graft Vs host infection.

When my parents shared with me that my dad’s NGO had arranged a short term trip for the whole family to travel to Thailand for a second opinion, hope rose within me like a sleeping giant. Perhaps these Chinese doctors were wrong….perhaps what I have isn’t as terminal as CML. Even if I did have it, between my parents and two siblings, I should be able to get a genetically matched donor for bone marrow cure right? 

Five suitcases packed, we traveled to Bangkok, Thailand. After meeting a highly recommended doctor in my field, I went through another series of tests and confirmed the initial CML diagnosis. Each member of my family were also tested as potential donors. 

In between waiting for test results, we explored the city around us,and I took comfort in similar cuisine to my motherland of Malaysia, explored night markets and got some beautiful fabrics for wrap skirts. Watched movies back at our room, and tried to browse the net in the internet cafe next door. Parents insisting on a healthier diet, my initial protests aside, I settled in to enjoy their tropical fruit, fruit juices…their fruit selection so similar to my motherland of Malaysia:

The results back, but none of my parents and brothers were a close enough match to be a good donor for a bone marrow transplant.